POLYSEMIA

What happens when I reach for you? It sounds to me that you were angry, holding in your words until your face began to melt in the mirror.  This is why I turned and ran away from you. 

“It’s fine, accidents like this don’t happen all the time.” A hand placed on my shoulders says. It’s cold and ashy, feels like death, a boring pulse pounds from its fingers. 

Though I can’t leave it's side until I feel that I’m not a threat. We both stare at the man lying flat on his back, vomit and foam dripping from his mouth, sleeping like I wish to. 

“Pick up the pace.” Your face screams at me, now far down the hallway twisting into a spiral. I follow, quietly we sweep through without seeing their eyes yet we leave of trail of sweat and tears.

“Instigate, poke at her guts.” He says, edging a blade to her lips. I look at his sick sweating white face. Pupils constrained harder than an asphyxiated neck. Poor bastard. A sick vile man. 

I was so wrong about trusting this, I lost everything I used to see so easily. Reaching out for a feeling I can’t keep, it’s always the same dream I can never find. I already forgot what I came here for.

Just to catch a break, throw my medicine away and become illuminated until I can't sleep. I’ll take the chance, I’ll jump into you. I made sure to put something down to show me the way back. 

I see how clean the water is beneath my body. With no witnesses I share every detail of pain and nothing changes. How would you ever know you’re lying to yourself when you spend all your time alone. 

A grotesque climax awaits with self isolation, the oldest magician. Delusions constructed from the ceiling you’ll never see past, hoping it’s worth it but you’ll never know. You tricked your mind to feel unremittingly. Static will bring you closer to me but it’s impossible to understand you when its all I hear. Only get yourself together at a time you can't, this elevated feeling getting you off.

I'm sinking back to the bottom of the ocean, soft spoken in my ear, I never told anyone I dipped my toe into the water.