Ignorant Piece of Shit

It won’t be like this forever

You said that more times than you can remember

Nothings on fire but you’re looking thin

You live in a state of constantly never living yourself down 

So what’s the point of keeping yourself clean? 

A lie you told in a thousand words unfolding into sad stories

About shoving pills in your throat, like we need another addict recovery story

Numb in your room at every confrontation

Thoughts implode and take control of the inside of your camera freezing

Slow down and ask for help

What would happen if I let it win?

You said don’t come back until you have yourself

The balloon is back in my stomach again

And I put myself back on the floor 

But I’m done sailing on the inside now that 

I’m drowning on the outside

Im still apologizing for how I’ve been 

Each breath more full of shit than the last

Everything Ive made I’ve laid back down

The constant judge under your skin crawling back and forth

Swipes the scalpel standing by my side wishing I drowned in what I’ve done