My Own Way

I got you all on my side

And I will lie straight to your eyes

But make my brother a fool for trusting me

I couldn’t believe how easy it was

All the things he has said scare me

Fill the holes in my head with jelly

On the way down to medicate every night 

Drowning in our old American small town

Raising hell with my gutless dead eyes

How did they get so hard and small?

Wet like an ocean and small as surgical sugar

How did this thing get inside of me

Swimming circles around my head

It’s ruined me

But it’s where I live

And lately every thought has been of you

What’s it like to shine between everything

When you need me to have purpose?

Well you know how this place can eat you out

And cut you up when you wake

From a warm place of no doubt

I would listen to everything he says

But there’s a glimpse of what I make 

Delivered from sweet lips and a sweet kiss

My own way to get through the decay

It opened my heart like the atom bomb

And nothing else can cure this life sentence

When I burden you all with how I choose to act

Now I fear you’re gone forever

They gave me every opportunity 

They wish to set me free